Resources

Go here to join our facebook group and connect with hundreds of parents that have been through TFMR.

This is the exact birth plan that we used for April's early induction. There is also a free printable option for you to have a copy if it helps.

This is a copy of the birth plan that we put together for April's early induction. This is free for you to download and adjust to your needs.

This doll is made to be the exact weight and size of your angel. Custom colors for skin, hat, and clothes. I loved this doll so much, I ordered 2 more after receiving ours. One for my husband and me, and one for each of our living children. In this post you can read about the doll in detail, learn about the etsy shop that creates them, and get a discount code!

We recorded April's heartbeat and then went to Build-A-Bear to create a Teddy Bear with her heartbeat.

Hand and footprints are something we love looking at in our keepsake box.

One of our favorite keepsakes are the 3D molds we have of April's hands and feet.

This Willow Tree figuring was gifted to me from another mom that has lost a baby. I treasure it. I've gifted this to first time moms that had to go through tfmr as well. It's beautiful.

"The Mission of NILMDTS is to introduce remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby with a free gift of professional portraiture."

Through Hopkins, we were able to donate April's body to the Maryland State Anatomy Board. Every year, they hold a memorial service and spread the ashes of all bodies that were donated in their memorial garden. It was perfect and we were glad to have a memorial service to attend.

The brain and tissue bank is where we were able to donate part of April's remains. It meant the world to us to have her life give back to scientific advancement and research. The brain and tissue bank at the University of MD accepts babies with a variety of different diagnoses.

Tradition ideas and ways to honor your baby during the holidays.

What we are incorporating into our angel's Christmas stocking each year.

We planted a memorial tree for April Rey today. I had no idea how healing this moment would be. Our 2.5 year old planted and painted rocks. We cried and did a little tiny bit of healing.

Many people choose to get tattoos in their angel's honor. This is my tattoo and it's meaning. I wanted a nontraditional tattoo that was a celebration, rather than a sad reminder. I love this watercolor effect.

It was 3 weeks after April had died. 3 weeks. I was at a preschool orientation for our 2.5 year old. I was caught off guard when I had to answer such a simple question. It cut me to my core...

There's this storm that keeps hitting. Over. And over. And over. Each time it feels different and raw. Each time it feels harder and I feel weak.

It's been 2.5 months since we held our daughter in our arms. 2.5 months since we had to say goodbye forever.

Then I looked down. There was a black seashell. It was perfect. As I reached down for it, it was a reminder that April was there on that walk with me. In all the blackness and grief that is in my life, there is fullness. There is happiness.

The acceptance part of my grief was the hardest. For me the hardest part wasn't when we lost April, but when we found out we'd lose her.

6 Things You Can Do To Help Yourself Find the Time To Grieve. It's so hard to grieve when you are a mom. There is no time. But it is so important to find the time.

I know you don't have little toes to kiss at night, and sweet baby kisses to get your face all wet. I know you don't have cries to tend to. And I know you are a mom.

I really tried hard to smudge the mascara off my cheeks. I took deep breaths trying to get some colour back in my face which was white with shock. I straighten out my skirt and blouse, as if being well presented was going to make the conversation I was about to have easier. 

How quarantine reactivated this loss mom's PTSD, and how she's painting to help...

At the beginning of January, I was contacted through my blog. I woke up to the following request, and my heart was so full of joy...

"I have been researching cytogenetic disorders and have recently come across one in particular that I want to learn more about: trisomy 13, Patau syndrome."

This is our story of induction- all the details, timing, pills taken, etc.

Why this mom knew a D&E was the right choice for her.

After who knows what search I made on Google, I had come to the conclusion that after the first trimester, if we chose termination for medical reasons, I’d be forced to give birth to my baby, instead of having a surgical option.

I remember saying to the doctor, “I have to give birth, don’t I?”

He looked at me and said, “We can do whatever you wish to do.”

We were early in the process. We didn’t have our diagnosis yet. In fact, I think I asked this of him the day we did the amniocentesis. So we didn’t know anything certain yet.

Many pro-life readers and friends and family supported us through our decision. These are some questions to consider.

An explanation of our 4 choices- all would have a fatal outcome. Why we chose to induce early.

Fast forward to my second pregnancy, and I again knew this fact about abortion to be truth.

Except this time something happened...

This time I found myself down a path that would terminate our daughter's life. My truth as I'd known it went out the window and I am now medically considered to have had an abortion.

"It’s continuously starting over hoping that something can be different in your next attempt. It’s the gut wrenching feeling finding out you are pregnant with yet another sick baby.

It is the defective, broken emptiness that comes with not being to do something that comes so naturally and instinctual to our species. It’s the inner void that you feel waiting for your turn to be happy and wondering if it’ll ever happen."