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Join the TFMR Facebook Group

Please fill out this form if you are interested in joining the Termination For Medical Reasons facebook group. Thank you for understanding my desire to keep only serious people in this group to keep it 100% supportive.

I’d like to gently welcome you to the group. This group has been an amazingly supportive place and continues to be something really special. The parents in this group have all experienced the worst heartache imaginable, and they all continue to give back and support others.

If you have time to watch the video below, I encourage you to do so. If you don’t, please be aware of two things that I want to be upfront and transparent about:

  1. This is a closed group on Facebook and not a secret group. Secret groups cannot be searched for. They cannot even be found with a link to the group! You have to be invited by another member. That is just not feasible with something like TFMR. So, I’ve kept this group closed. What that means is this:
    • Only members of the group can see what is posted.
    • Anyone can see who is in the group, including your friends. However, it is NOT advertised to them. Your friends don’t get a notification saying you have joined. They’d have to click on the group themselves, to then see who is in it. And if they are clicking on the TFMR group, they are probably thankful to see a familiar face if that’s the case.
  2. Trolls. Guys, I am saddened to write this, but this group has gotten on the radar of a couple of anti-abortion groups. It seemed to happen when I released my children’s book series for TFMR families at the start of July, 2020. They join under one name, and then they message people that have upcoming terminations, or are undecided on their path, trying to convince them not to terminate, with a different profile. It’s despicable behavior, and unfortunately, since they message and join under different names, I can’t trace it back to the group member. I am now going through once a month and removing inactive members in the hopes that that helps, but there is no other way for me to really “police” this.

    We have a solution though.
    • Anonymous posting. I’m in the process of setting up a whole group of moderators. You can type out a post and send it to any one of them, myself included, and we will post on your behalf so you can keep your anonymity and not be harassed by these trolls. And of course, you can choose to post and just ignore their hateful messages as well. Facebook is also rolling out an anonymous post button…we just don’t quite have it yet!
    • Bulk clean out. Everyone from July 1 to present (August 24th), got kicked out of the group. This ENSURES that we got the trolls out (for now). That is when the problem started. Everyone is welcome to join with the new approval process.
    • New Approval process. It was always a tough membership application- but it just got tougher. You now have to include an ID that matches your Facebook name, in a picture with something related to your TFMR baby. Get creative if you need to, but you basically need to prove to me that one, you are real, and two you did have or are considering TFMR.