I’d like to take a moment to welcome you to Terminations Remembered.
I am so sorry that you find yourself here, making this difficult choice and walking this unimaginable path. Deciding to terminate a pregnancy for medical reasons is a journey unlike any other.
The experience of a loss of this kind is something that is incredibly difficult and comes with unique grief. Parents need to be able to find support groups, someone to talk with, have stories to read, and simply have others to talk to so this isn’t such an isolating road.
Over time, I hope to change the message of judgement that we seem to all encounter when it comes to termination for medical reasons. I hope to provide a safe place to find support, a place to honor our babies, and a voice to break the silence on this topic.
I hope to provide a place of support from that first initial scan telling you there might be something wrong in the pregnancy, to the birth via induction or D&E, through to being pregnant with your rainbow baby (if that’s the case), and even in the many years following, as the grief of losing a child is something that never gets easier.
And losing a child to medical termination, has a unique road of grief associated with it that no one but those that have experienced it could possibly understand. This community will stand strong together.
When our daughter was diagnosed with trisomy 13, I was 15 weeks along in my pregnancy. We chose to spare her pain and suffering, by inducing the pregnancy early (at 19.5 weeks). We held our daughter, April Rey, and she knew nothing but love for her unbearably short life.
As we navigated this path, I found that there was no support. There were no stories to read of other parents that had been through this. No talk of termination or early induction at all.
And when we asked parents that chose to carry to term some simple questions about their child’s quality of life, we were met with responses that they “are so blessed”, but never real answers to our questions about the quality of life and medical struggles their child encountered.
It was a lonely, lonely journey. Perhaps it would have still been lonely had there been parents to talk with. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been any easier. I’ll never know.
But I do know that silence is never helpful. Silence is never going to help us learn, and heal, and support one another.
And so, Terminations Remembered, was born.
On this site, you will find our full story. I wrote live stories as we were finding out April’s diagnosis. It became therapeutic for me and I would just come home and write, write, write. I continue to write updates on how our family is healing, and living without our daughter on this earth.
On this site, you will find stories about termination for medical reasons from other parents as well. My hope is that we can collect as many stories as possible to share with one another. When you are ready, I encourage you to submit your story (it can even be anonymous if you so choose).
On this site, you will find resources. Resources as you walk this path, along with resources in your grief.
On this site, you will find a place to honor your angel, on the angels loved and lost page.
You will even find a information on pregnancy after termination for medical reasons, stories about grief, and even about experiencing guilt after termination for medical reasons.
Coping with termination of pregnancy for fetal abnormality is a unique experience and I’ve tried to be as raw and real on here as I can. Vulnerability is the only way to reach others and truly connect on this topic.
Finding Your Way at Terminations Remembered:
Read our full story here. I wrote live updates as we found out about April Rey’s diagnosis (trisomy 13). They are as raw and real as it gets. I continue to write about our grief and how our family has started healing.
Stories About Terminating For Medical Reasons
Read stories from parents that chose to terminate their desired pregnancies for medical reasons, to spare their baby pain and a life of suffering.
Angels Loved & Lost
Submit your angel’s name here as a way to honor and remember them.
Share Your Story
When you are ready, I’d be honored to publish your story to help others as they navigate this path. Stories may be anonymous if you so choose.
Here you will find resources for birth photography, donating your angel’s body, ways to honor your angel, managing your grief, and more.
Managing Grief with Older Children
Our older daughter was 2.5 when we lost April. It was and has continued to be a hard journey in helping her to manage her grief. Here you will find our journey with this and some useful tips we’ve learned along the way.
On this page you will find posts about trying to conceive after a medical termination. Everything from the physical to the emotional state of our bodies with our rainbow babies.
Friends and Family
If you are a friend or family member of someone going through this, here you will find resources on how to best support your loved one(s).
My name is Katrina, and this is most of my family in the picture above. In it you’ll see my amazing husband, our daughter, Caroline, and our son, William.
Family pictures are hard. This was the first family picture I could bring myself to capture, since we lost our daughter, April Rey.
April Rey was diagnosed with trisomy 13 when I was 15 weeks pregnant. We made the agonizing choice to induce labor early and set our angel free. She was alive for 11 minutes, and she knew nothing but love.
It’s become a passion of mine to help others find support in their journey.
We found peace for her and ourselves by letting her go. We carry her love with us every single day.
Our oldest daughter was 2.5 years old when April died. Her grief has been hard to manage as well. She misses April terribly, as we all do.
Here, I hope you can also find help in managing these losses with toddlers and older children involved. I’ve shared what we’ve done the best I can.
Our son, William was born 1.5 years after we lost April. While having a rainbow pregnancy was incredibly difficult, it was also healing in its own way.
I am so glad that you’ve found this page. I hope that it can help you feel less alone and less isolated.
- Trisomy 13 – The story of Willow RebeccaFirst of all, before I begin our story of love and loss, I want to reach out and tell you how sorry I am that you are finding yourself here, reading these stories. I’m assuming it’s because you are facing the same choices or have already faced it like we have. I wish I could…
- Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia CDH – The story of Harper RaeMy story starts long before I was pregnant. After marriage, we lived in a one bedroom, third floor apartment. We were in no hurry to start our family. I was on a birth control called implanon which made me feel insane but it was better than the alternative at the time, pregnancy. Health insurance was…
- The Story of Sebastian – Trisomy 18 TFMRI am a TFMR mama. I am here to share my son Sebastian’s story. At the age of 12 I would talk about getting married, having a home, 3 kids and owning 2 dogs. I met the love of my life in January of 2020. From time to time we’ve had our ups and downs…
- Happy 4th Birthday, April Rey – (Terminations Remembered Fundraiser 2021)Please see below for details about the 2021 Terminations Remembered Fundraiser in honor of April Rey Villegas and the Terminations Remembered community. Dear April Rey, Your 4th birthday is approaching. As we get close to your birthday every year, I feel the tug of sadness peak inside me. Each year I feel like it starts…